Wednesday, October 29, 2008

My Political Post Before The Big Election

This is the only time I am going to mention the election, so here are my thoughts.

After study both of the candidates for months and trying to be as open as I could through the process, I have come to a final determination. The Mcain/Palin ticket sucks and the Obama/Biden ticket sucks, just in a different way.

I am voting for a third party candidate. I don't care if it's a former porn star with a 700 pound shut-in for a running mate. I urge you to do the same.

Please, do not vote for Mcain or Obama.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Commanders Log: Part One

The following are a summary of the events which took place on October 12, 2008 involving Transport #28 under my command of said vessel.

At 17:45 hours I arrived at Three and a Half Star Pizza to take command of transport #28 and it's night shift duties. After a routine safety and equipment inspection I was ready to take my first run of the evening. As luck would have it, my first drop off would be a routine stop at a local crack cocaine distribution dwelling in sector eight. While the possibility of danger could be high, typically the inhabitants were quite over joyed to see me and their well done Italian subs swimming in vinegar. This evening would prove to be a typical transaction.

I navigated my ship down Lender Avenue, took a right on McGuire Boulevard, topped the hill and took a left onto Continental Drive. As I entered sector eight, I turned right onto Jackson Street and gazed upon a usual sight. A broken down single floor structure with peeling forest green paint. In the front yard lie many pieces of household furniture in poor repair and a little boy , five or possibly six years of age, trying to force a pine cone up a stray dog's rectum. A site I had seen every day for nearly three weeks.

After bringing my transport to a halt in the designated loading and or unloading zone behind the collection of soiled diapers that must have massed fifteen metric tons, I exited with the package. Not more than a split second after putting my first boot onto turf I was greeted by the loud, shrieking voice of the lady of the house.

“Hey mutha fuka, you got my shit?” she inquired as her large framed lumbered out of the rear exit of the structure, struggling hard to stay within the confines of her spandex outfit that made her appear as sixteen kilograms of fecal material compressed into a four kilogram capacity container.

“Good evening madame, your requisition has been filled and delivered in a satisfactory time frame.” I replied with a pleasant smile on my face.

“Dem god damn subs betta have extra dressin on dem or else deir gonna be some chaos up in dis bitch.” she rebutted.

“I assure you that your order has been filled to specification. We at Three and a Half Star Pizza pride ourselves on quality and customer service.” I explained.

A'ight, lets do dis shit mafuka.” she stated as she began counting pennies out of a plastic condiment bowl.

“Your invoice total is $15.97 ma'am” I explained in a friendly tone.

At this point the lady placed the pennies back into the bowl, closed the lid upon it and threw the entire collection at me. Then she abruptly yanked the sandwiches from my hand and yelled “Fifteen dolla and ninety-seben cent is sum bullsheit. Count dat shit on ya own. If ya lucky dey may be a tip fo ya.”

She then turned and walked quickly back into her home. I retrieved the container with the currency in it and returned to my transport. I then poured the coins into my collection case and threw the bowl onto the floor with the rest of the containers she had hurled at me in the past days .........

To Be Continued

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Random Questions

I happen to be a working class heterosexual white male of legal voting age. When did everything become my fault?

Why is it that every time there is something wrong with my car every dip shit who has ever seen a ratchet thinks they can tell me how to fix it and their way of fixing it is way better than anyone else's?

On that same note, why is it that there is always one asspipe who insists you do it his way because his uncle has been a mechanic for 25 years? Maybe his uncle would be a prime candidate to consult on auto repair issues, but jerking off hamsters at the local petsmart and merely being related to a mechanic does not make you a fucking master automotive technician.

What is it with people being too lazy to pronounce an entire word? Like people who say "wit" instead of "with" or people who say "dis" instead of "disrespected". Do people actually think that makes them "hip" or "cool"? To me it sends up a red flag that the individual is either too fucking stupid or too lazy to pronounce the entire word. When people come into work talking like that and wanting to fill out a job application I throw it in the trash when they are done. I don't want to work with an idiot or a lazy bastard.

Why is our society more interested in protecting some one's frail sense of being than getting the truth out into the light and doing the right thing? The Pooper incident is a prime example of this. He stole from the company. Did he get punished? No he didn't because he's an old man in his early 60's and the company didn't want to "pick on him". What a bunch of bullshit. If he'd been my age they would have fired him and then took legal action. If you do something wrong you should be punished for it regardless of you age, gender, religious beliefs, race or any of that other petty shit.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Hookers, Prostitues and Crack Whores

I work in a not so nice city. The economy around the area has been hit really hard since the recession has started. Unemployment is through the roof. Therefore, a lot of women have turned to "selling themselves" to make a living. I was delivering last night in the downtown area when I was flagged down by a hooker not four blocks from both the city police station and the county sheriff's office. I, of course, did not part take in her services. I like the company of women like most other guys, but I do not like the possibility of getting arrested or catching something that modern science is yet to identify.

Tonight I was out on delivery in a not so nice neighborhood and drove past a ran down apartment building where apparently one of the working girls had just finished with a client. She walked out the door onto the steps bare assed naked, picked up her clothes and started putting them back on and motioned me to come over and talk to her. Again, I did not partake.

My point is this, my town isn't that big. It only has about 25,000 people in it. I have noticed a large surge in violent crime, drug dependency and prostitution over the last year or so. The economy is not getting better and I feel it will get worse before it gets better, if it ever does. I think as money gets tighter and more and more women are out of work they are going to start turning to this type of "employment" more often.

The police did a big sting operation and arrested like 12 of these women about a year ago. They said in the local paper that they figured that they had 15 to 20 girls that they knew for sure were working the streets. I bet since that time, there are 3 to 4 times as many out on the streets. To make matters worse, since the city, county and state have all had major budget cuts and gas prices are through the roof, you don't see but about 20% of the police patrol that you once did.

I think my hometown is headed right down the old crapper.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

I'm Back

After a nice week of having the flu, I am back and feeling great. Not much excitement, just some freaks at work I've had to deal with.

This evening around 10:00 I answer a phone call from a guy who rips me a new ass because the manager of our other store across town will not give him a small cup of hot peppers with the sub he ordered. He is carrying on like the world is about to come to an end. After talking with him for a few minutes he wants to talk to my boss. My supervisor gets on the phone with him and basically tells him there is nothing he can do. If he is that pissed off, then he needs to call our corporate number and speak with some one there.

My diet and exercise are still working. Another five and a half pounds gone. My goal is to loose 10 pounds by Halloween, another ten by Thanksgiving and another ten by Christmas. If I keep at it I should get there just fine.

I really need to get more out of life. All I do anymore is go to work, come home and then either play world Of Warcraft or play my guitar until 5 or 6 in the morning. That's pretty much my routine. Occasionally I'll hit the weight bench for an hour or so. I just don't want life to pass me by.

Can't think of anything else to say right now. I'll try to have something worth reading tomorrow.