Random Thoughts

Well, after my big weekend I'm 4 days sober. YIPPEE !!! I don't think I'll do cart wheels until I'm back to like 400 days sober again.

Rainy as hell here today. Cold, breezy and kind of depressing. Oh, well maybe tomorrow will be better.

If anyone of my regular readers would like to chat with me, my e-mail is thevoice@nyms.net and my yahoo name is the_pizza_killer . Not because I'm a serial killer, it's because I used to work in a pizza shop and read true crime novels all the time and all of my co-workers thought I was a serial killer. I'm actually pretty normal.

Tomorrow is the last day of the work week for me. I'll get a nice 4 day weekend to help my sister and brother-in-law remodel the nursery for the little munchkin who will be here soon.

I've thought quite often of exploring the use of supplements to help treat my illness. Does anyone know of any legal supplements that actually work?

God I'm so bored right now. Need to sleep for the early work day tomorrow, but can't seem to get there.

Random Thoughts Before Bed

Well, it's late on a Sunday night. I can't get to sleep, but I'll have to force myself. I really don't want to go to work tomorrow. Business is in the crapper and I just know I'll be let go soon. On one hand it will be nice when I get cut loose because I won't have to deal with the office politics and all the other bullshit. On the other hand the income is really nice. Unemployment benefits will pay the bills, but that's about all they will do. No more extra cash to fund my liesure time ventures.

I'm on my 11th year of my obsessive quest to get down to a normal weight. I have managed to take of 50 pounds over the years. Doctor says that I need to be in the 210 area to be safe for my height and frame. Still have 40 pounds to go. Today I ordered yet another diet supplement to aid me in what I call "operation thin man". I have tried pretty much everything out there from slim fast to hoodia to alli. I have had limited succes with a few, but most were a total waste. The new one is a fatty acid compound called CLA. Apparently it is supposed to help your body stop storing fat and then it cranks up your metabolizm to burn off your stored fat. I did a lot of research on it and apparently there is scientific evidence conducted by real doctors to support claims that it reduces body fat. So, lets hope this one works. I'd like to give myself a nice christmas present this year by being down to my target weight.

My sister and her husband are expecting their first child in mid september. Also, my brother is getting married the first weekend in september. This got me to thinking that I really need to get my life in order. Thinking about it this afternoon, I realized that I feal very much alone. I don't really have anyone or anything to call my own. It makes me feal very empty. I've essentially pissed away 31 years.

Well, I need sleep. Guess I'll end my ant now and crawl into bed, although I'll probably just stare at the cieling for hours.